Kaede Matsushima's Interview
Interviewer: You started working in this industry when you were 18, how is it so far?
Kaede: Yeah, I guess so. I really had an adventure. It's wonderful I was able to come this far and it has been rough at some point, but now it’s just perfect. (laughs).
Interviewer: Were you interested in starring in an adult video before you were scouted?
Kaede: I had seen them before. But in my mind, an AV actress was the last straw for someone who couldn't do anything else. When I was scouted, I thought I would just hear what they had to say and that was it. But I just slipped into the business.
Interviewer: Just went with the flow, huh?
Kaede:In my interview, they were oogling at me and going on with 'You've got a great body' and 'You are definitely star material'. I thought it would be good just to know how these things work. Not in my wildest dreams did I think I would be in the business.
Interviewer: But you went all the way to film your first debut video.
Kaede: I was thinking, ‘Why am I doing this for?'. Even during the filming, I didn't have a feeling of being in an adult video.
Interviewer: Were you embarrassed or anything?
Kaede: Curious, rather that embarrassing. I was concerned over all sorts of things that had nothing to do with sex. The lights were hot. There was a cold draft coming in. It was raining outside. I really didn't feel like I was really doing it with the actor.
Interviewer: And then the guy comes?
Kaede: First thing I thought was, 'The guy is here' (laughs). I was like, 'No way I am going to do it with him'. But I got really into it when we got going (laughs)."
Interviewer: So, you really didn't like it?
Kaede: He was really a nice guy. At the end it was pretty good but I just couldn't concentrate. I didn't know if I felt good. I didn't make any sound. The title went something like 'Aahh' but it was more like 'Oomf.' However, I did have fun. The director, and the rest of the staff were great. Just like a big family. I was nice to be around them.
Interviewer: How did you feel when your first video came out?
Kaede: I thought, 'This ain't how it should be.' (laughs) 'Why was I so bubbly?' 'I am pretty weird.' 'Keep this up and I am in trouble.' That is all I could say about it.
Interviewer: You seem to be a strong-minded person.
Kaede: I don't tend to cry in front of people. Not even with my family.
Interviewer: Has it changed your attitude towards sex?
Kaede: Oh yeah, it changed. The things I do and even how I feel is different now. Some may think it is strange that I could come this far. But I think there is much more left for me to do. 'You ain't seen nothing, yet.'
Interviewer: Wow. And how about sex outside work?
Kaede: I don't see much of that lately. But I feel that I have come to be more open with myself. I was passive before. Now I feel that I should give some back to. I have come from 'It is nice just to sleep together.' to 'Just sleeping together is not enough for me!'
Interviewer: Sounds good to me!
Kaede: I get a good feeling sucking my boyfriend off and seeing how much he enjoys it when I look at his face.
Interviewer: So you are gonna escalate in the stuff you do. Something abnormal?
Kaede: I really don't like S&M, though. I'm not into stuff that hurts or is hot. But, anything goes when on video. Whipping and hitting are fine as long as I can't get killed. But in private sex, I don't even like to use 'toys'.
Interviewer: You really like sex, huh?
Interviewer: What do you love about it?
Kaede: It doesn't just feel good. There is this real deep psychological thing about it. Something you can only get in sex.
Interviewer: If you had a choice, is it something you would like to do with someone you like, huh?
Kaede: But I always worry too much about having a boyfriend. I get so caught up that all I think about is my boyfriend. If he says to me just once that he can't meet me, I think that he is having an affair. I get so uneasy. I just get too hung up on the guy. Kinda strange, huh? It is much easier to have a 'one-way love affair'.
Interviewer: The heart of a maiden is impossible to fathom. So, what type of guy do you usually fall for?
Kaede: Somebody who follows his own path.
Interviewer: What are you looking forward to doing in the future?
Kaede: I wanna do it as I think, not like I am instructed to do. I don't like to make much flashy expressions but I wanna do some really dangerous stuff.
Interviewer: Are you a fan of your own videos?
Kaede: Nope. See, I'm pretty unconfident about my works so when I watch them at home I'll be like "There's something wrong about that scene" or "I could've done better than that!"
Interviewer: You mean like as when you look at it from a consumer's viewpoint?
Kaede: Hmmm? It gets a little complicated so I'm not really sure. I can tell what's wrong on other people's videos though.
Kaede: Since I look at it from a female standpoint, if the characters are interesting, I think of it as them being cute, not sexy. The one person who I thought was sexy was Ayanami Ryou. You think that she's sexy even if you're a female, which I think is special.
Interviewer: What do you find about her that's sexy?
Kaede:It just seems so right. Her voice is good too.
Interviewer: Do you think that you're sexy?
Kaede: I don't really see myself that way. I don't really want to get cornered into one role. It'll be boring then.
Interviewer: So you want to break into the movie business?
Kaede: I do think about it sometimes.
Interviewer: Does that mean that you started doing these videos in order to eventually get such work?
Kaede: No, not at all. It just crosses my mind every once in a while when I'm working...
Interviewer: Is there anything you feel lacking in your current line of work?
Kaede: I wonder about that myself...I have feeling that even my best works were so so, like there's this big gap. I always think that I could've done better, but I never really know what I could've improved on.
Interviewer: In what circumstances do you feel that you could've done better?
Kaede: ...well, (embarrassed) I...I don't want to tell...(laughter).
Interviewer: That's a rather abrupt way to end this conversation (laughter).
Kaede: (A little nervous)...well, I'm an AV actress so I don't really try to be sexy..., and I don't think I trust other people much..., but I like doing this type of work!
Interviewer: That was a bit all over the place.
Kaede: There are things I like to do and things I don't...
Kaede: A cameraman once told me "You have no right to be happy if you're nothing but a damned AV actress!". Well, he said it after I refused to go out with him, but it was still a bit of a shock... "I didn't want to show my loneliness to anyone else."
Interviewer: Has there ever been anyone where you've shown all your weaknesses?
Kaede: ...nope, none. I'm really prideful....really.
Interviewer: So there hasn't been anyone?
Kaede: Yeah. Especially to my boyfriend.
Interviewer: Is that also due to your lack of trust?
Kaede: Hmmm? I just can't seem to open up completely, for some reason.
Interviewer: Have you ever thought that you'll feel better if you did open up?
Kaede: I do think that it'll be wonderful if I could...but I can't!
Interviewer: So you're not good at getting spoiled.
Kaede: I don't spoil people, and they don't spoil me. Maybe it's because I was never spoiled...
Interviewer: Were you trying to grow up fast when you were young?
Kaede: No, I just thought that was normal while I was growing up, so I did everything myself, without relying on anyone else.
Interviewer: Don't you get a lot of stress?
Kaede: I think I've been under a fair bit of stress recently. At first, I had no idea what it was that was bothering me though.
Interviewer: So what happens when you're stressed out?
Kaede: I start to hallucinate, Hahahaha. Around this time last year, I was suffering from some depression and I was worried that if I get even more stressed out I'd be in deep trouble. Then out of no where I thought I saw a cat pass by me but when I checked again the cat was on the other side of the street!
Interviewer: Hmm some weird things about you huh?
Kaede: (Laughs) Yeah, I’m kind of freaky person.
Interviewer: Last question, when you’re in the AV industry, don’t you get lonely sometimes? Don’t you want to just settle down with a nice boyfriend and live a ‘normal’ life?
Kaede: Oh, of course. I really wanted to get along with everyone and make tons of friends but sometimes it ended up as being "I don't need any friends!" I didn't want to show anyone else how lonely I really was deep inside. There's not too many people who has such a perfect body as this.
It's no fair you get to be the only one peeking in! Take me next time!